We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I touched a dick in church today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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