never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
