But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize