my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
