Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
