Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
