Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
