Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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