He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
