break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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