Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You need a sexual gate keeper
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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