What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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