dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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