doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
