I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
