It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
