I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
