Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
