Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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