i'm signing you up for texting rehab
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
