So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize