apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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