VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
