Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
