So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
