Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
