honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
