you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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