he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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