Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
