He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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