They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
