Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
