very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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