C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
