This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
