So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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