heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
