would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
