Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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