I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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