Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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