guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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