Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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(518): View more from New York

He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize

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(256): View more from Alabama

do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(515): View more from Iowa

Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

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(561): View more from Florida

You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.

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