Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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