For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
