In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
