Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
