and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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