I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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