we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
