Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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