what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
