I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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