I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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