i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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